Playing Hard To Get
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Well, Elaine Hatfield and her colleagues might have the answer. Separately, we could also ask how difficult it is for women or men in general to get me.
play hard to get
For you, the distinction is important. Hatfield and her colleagues proposed that people would be most attracted to targets who are selectively hard to get. In other words, you would be most attracted to me if I am easy to get for you personally, but hard to get for all other women or men. To test this idea, Hatfield and her colleagues conducted one last study. This time, the men were shown profiles of five women who had been matched with the men by the computer in actual fact, the profiles were all bogus.
For each of the forms, the participant saw that one of the forms included ratings of himself, whereas the other forms included ratings of other fictitious men. Of the profiles they saw, one woman was always hard to get, rating all five of her matches rather poorly. Another was always 'easy to get', rating all her matches as highly desirable.
A third woman was selectively hard to get, rating the four other men as undesirable but the participant himself as very appealing. The men were asked to evaluate the desirability of the three women. As the researchers had predicted, the men showed a preference for the selectively hard-to-get woman. For the men in the study, the woman who played selectively hard to get was perceived as just as popular and attractive as the uniformly hard-to-get woman, but also perceived as less cold.
Later studies uncovered another reason why we might like people who play selectively hard to get. It feels good to be liked by someone who is selective. So it's not about playing hard to get; it's about being selectively hard to get instead. Handjobs might be the most underrated sex act.
Some come easily, while others might go their whole lives without one. The couple began dating in , married in , separate. Being nice is far more effective, say the authors of one study. They found that women who were friendly and warm were deemed to be more attractive by potential mates than women who played it cool. Men in the study described the women who selectively liked them to be easygoing, popular and warm.
A team led by Jayson Jia of Stanford conducted a series o f experiments to explore this question. A group of male undergraduates signed up for what they thought was a speed dating event. Some of the men were assigned a speed dating partner, others were asked to choose from a set of photographs of four different women the choice was rigged—the men always chose the same woman because the researchers deliberately included three less attractive options.
This way, all the men interacted with the same woman, an attractive undergraduate who was in on the experiment.
Playing Hard To Get: A Tried And True Method For Attraction
With half of the men, she was told to act interested and to express warmth by smiling and actively engaging them in conversation. She was friendly, she asked questions and she looked for things they had in common. Let me explain. Although wanting and liking appear to be close cousins—i.
Play Hard To Get | Definition of Play Hard To Get by Merriam-Webster
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